9 Things I Learned from Watching Barbie

Mon, Nov 28 § 4 Comments

1. All pretty girls wear make-up.

Wear it like this

With friends

Underwater

And like the children

(I swear even this elephant's eyelashes are too thick!)

2. That one East-Asian looking girl has bangs.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

3. Wear dresses and skirts like there’s no tomorrow.

Props to them! They somehow managed to do back-flips and kick butt with frocks and crinolines on

4. Evil people are old, unattractive, and usually are someone’s mom. They also wear either green, dull gray, purple or a deep orange-red color.

Wearing green, old, some girl's mom

Wearing purple and old

Wearing purple and old

This girl.

5. It’s always good to have a little minion.

Super pets

The pixie servant

And the flying puffball

6. Gotta have the small waist, big butt, and skinny and long legs.

Check

Check

And double check

7. There’s no such thing as aging.

Aunt

Head mistress

Forty year old mother

8. Go for the white guys.

Example #1

Example #2

Example #3

9. I saw it in a movie! I gotta buy it in reality.

Please refer to point 3, picture 3, third character from the left.

Please refer to point 6, picture 3, first character from the left.

Oh yup, time to spend eighty bucks.

But Barbie really isn’t all that bad. She’s a successful woman who has accomplished many things and has had many jobs. Her movies also always have morals like perseverance and believing in your dreams, so there’s a bit of educational value. Besides, Barbie was a part of my childhood, and look at me, I turned out great! (Haha.)

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