Stop Irking Me!

Sat, Mar 19 § Leave a comment

  • Getting water down your sleeve
  • Accidentally stepping on a wet spot in your house while you’re wearing socks
  • People cutting in line
  • Thieves
  • S-L-O-W C-O-M-P-U-T-E-R-S
  • Liars, lies, lying
  • Catching a cold
  • Ignorance
  • Needing to blow on your nose during class but you don’t want to make a huge and disgusting racket in front of everybody
  • Sniff, sniff, sniffing during tests
  • When the tab on a pop can touches your nose as you drink (so I turn mine ninety degrees)
  • A group of kids standing in the middle of the hall, so you have to push through them or try to wind around
  • Ditto to the above, then they complain about it when it happens to them
  • People who constantly needs a friend around them no matter what they’re doing
  • When people ask you for food
  • When people ask you for gum
  • Large groups of people surrounding your locker and you have to awkwardly ask them to move their bums over
  • When people you don’t know hide behind you
  • People who stare intently
  • Guys showing off their underwear by sagging and thinking they’re cool
  • When people burst out all the answers instead of raising their hands
  • Talking, texting, or taking pictures at the cinema when the movie is playing
  • Chain letters
  • When people take pictures of themselves in the bathroom mirror
  • People on Facebook competing who has the most friends, and adding strangers to seem popular
  • Homeless people asking for money but rejects food
  • Littering, especially if there’s a garbage bin right beside them
  • When other people text while you’re talking to them
  • The teacher asks the class to only use pens, then suddenly there’s a symphony of clicking pens
  • When people post cruddy things in the Facebook news feed twenty times a day
  • Drivers tossing stuff out the window
  • Drivers picking their nose
  • When people are watching me eat
  • Eating with your mouth open, then accidentally spitting stuff out while talking
  • People asking “Huh?” or “What?” a million times
  • Politicians who give empty promises
  • Bribes
  • When you can feel people’s dagger eyes watching you
  • When people are too lazy to change the toilet paper roll
  • When the toilet paper is rolled under rather over
  • People interrupting you when you’re trying to talk
  • Smoke, smokers, and smoking
  • Loiterers
  • Hypocrites
  • Extremely complicating sentences that can be explained with a few simple words
  • The people who write voting ballets (do they really think an average American can understand “‘Marriage. Shall section 13 of article XIII of the constitution be created to provide that only a marriage between one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state and that legal status identical or substantially similar to that of marriage for unmarried individuals shall not be valid or recognized in this state?’“)
  • Music that’s popular solely because it’s catchy
  • When the lyrics of a popular song makes completely no sense
  • Not knowing what to wear, or not having anything to wear when you have a closet full of outfits
  • Saying “like” or “um” a million times in a single sentence
  • People who complain about things they’ve done before (heh)
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